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shpalman [userpic]

Jesus' blood never failed me yet

28th June 2009 (13:28)

It's on the news that a priest was stopped at the exit of the Milano-Torino autostrada with a blood alcohol level of 0.08% (the legal limit in Italy is 0.05%) and had his licence taken off him. He had to call “friends and family” to come and take him home.

The priest claimed to be tee-total, except for the fact that he had celebrated four masses that day and obviously there's wine in that. Whether there's the amount of wine necessary to put you over the limit (or on the U.K. limit) isn't necessarily the point. Having drunk the wine in some sort of cannibalistic cult ritual rather than in a bar with friends doesn't make you any less dangerous on the motorway. I bet those crackers don't help soak much of it up either.


Posted by: Boxxy (amuchmoreexotic)
Posted at: 28th June 2009 12:08 (UTC)

Was he a Catholic priest? Because if so, surely all the alcohol should have transubstantiated into Jesus blood?

Posted by: shpalman (shpalman)
Posted at: 28th June 2009 12:10 (UTC)

Well exactly.

Posted by: nicholas (makyo)
Posted at: 28th June 2009 12:40 (UTC)

"Two, four, six, eight, time to transubstantiate!"

Posted by: Crazy Dave (cdave)
Posted at: 29th June 2009 08:18 (UTC)

Two, Three, Five, Seven, Pumped and primed to drive to heaven!

Posted by: Ian (darknessrisible)
Posted at: 28th June 2009 14:04 (UTC)
Wasserschwein 2

Indeed it should, but not in a way which would make it distinguishable from ordinary wine by scientific instruments or interpretations. Only the "substance" of its being wine would be altered, while the "accident" of its having measurable alcohol content would be unchanged.


Posted by: Boxxy (amuchmoreexotic)
Posted at: 28th June 2009 14:06 (UTC)

Oh right, I forgot they had that handy anti-falsifiability clause!

Posted by: shpalman (shpalman)
Posted at: 30th June 2009 14:19 (UTC)

... well at least the guy didn't cause a substance.

Posted by: ((Anonymous))
Posted at: 1st July 2009 00:38 (UTC)

It's rather sad that your prejudice blinds you to the obvious. The obvious, in this case, being that the priest is lying. The amount of wine consumed at a Communion is, at most, a mouthful. One mouthful of wine, even two mouthfuls of wine, is far less than the amount of alcohol that the body eliminates in an hour's time -- and though the time of a Mass varies, half an hour is about the shortest it goes. So even if this priest had celebrated four Masses back to back (an unlikely scenario) there is no way that he would have emerged at the end of the fourth Mass over the legal limit from his four mouthfuls of Communion wine over a two-hour period. There may be the possibility of some rare medical condition that causes his body to eliminate alcohol far more slowly than a normal person's, but Occam's razor suggests that this man is simply a sad alcoholic who drinks too much and lies when his drinking catches up with him.

But I reckon you were too overjoyed at the opportunity to trot out those old tired japes about "cannibalistic cult rituals" to, y'know, actually think critically about what you heard. Ironic, that.

Posted by: shpalman (shpalman)
Posted at: 6th July 2009 01:26 (UTC)

And there was me trying to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Posted by: ((Anonymous))
Posted at: 21st October 2009 12:31 (UTC)
drinking priests.....

Don't the priests have to finish all the consecrated wine by the end of the service? If he had prepared too much he would have had to consume more than a mouthful near to the end of the service....

Posted by: shpalman (shpalman)
Posted at: 21st July 2009 20:14 (UTC)

It seems that the police deny this happened, just like they deny the case of the speeding nun with the broken wrist, and both stories (and also the one about the topless photos on facebook of the aspiring nun, of which no trace of the photos has been found) originated from a layer called Giacinto Canzona.

Maybe it's all been made up.

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